There is always hope. . .

In 1997, in the diocese of Quebec, I was part of a conversation regarding the name of our church.  Certain individuals wanted to send a memorial to the General Synod (governing body) of the Anglican Church of Canada (ACC) to change the name of the church from ACC to Episcopal Church of Canada.  Their rationale was very simple yet important that ACC translated in French means Church of the Anglophones; thus, equating an ethnic group with the church which can be a hindrance and barrier to other ethnic groups in general and French Canadians in particular.  There was absolute resistance to the name change from other members of the group as they believed and upheld that ACC is indeed a church of anglophones since its inception and will always be a church of anglophones regardless of context and the membership.  I was newly ordained (two years) at the time and was lost for words or reaction at the reasoning.  Moreover, as a visible minority, for the very first time, I felt to be an outsider in my own church.  

 By 2040, there will not be identifiable givers and attendees in the ACC is the finding of a study commissioned by the ACC. The author examined the subscription to the Anglican monthly newspaper (Anglican Journal), members on the parish rolls as well as Sunday attendance and reported that ACC membership has declined from 1.3 million in 1961 to 357,123 in 2017.  Incidentally, Canada’s population was 18.27 million people as compare to 36.54 million in 2017.  While ACC lost 942,877 members since 1961, the Canadian population almost doubled in the same period.  Juxtaposing the church’s number with Canadian population makes a bad situation worse, particularly when we realize that since 1991 two thirds of Canadian population has increased because of emigration while one third has increased because of natural birth.  Situation indeed is dire to say the least.  An important question which should be asked, in the midst of this report and uncertain future, is what went wrong and subsequently what can be done?

What went wrong, particularly from the visible minority perspective, is the attitude and the arrogance of the church as it relates to the governance and leadership of the church.  I realise that it is a harsh indictment.  This indictment is justified when we look at the membership of the councils and committees right from the General synod to local parishes.  Leadership is entrusted to very few Caucasian members of the church, who in some cases are members of five to six committees and are recycled from one committee to another based on criteria obviously unknown to many.  The implicit message in these appointments and elections is that it is a culture of entitlement based on an exclusive private club and the outsider regardless of his/her ethnicity is expected to follow and support.  Limited and specific numbers of individuals can be the leaders of ACC at various levels is the epitome of entitlement and arrogance because it denounces or fails to recognise the gifts and talents of individuals outside of the circle.  

Lord of the Rings, trilogy by J. R. R. Tolkien, is a story of humanity’s resolve to fight against evil and to protect and preserve goodness in the middle earth.  In one of the scenes, just before the battle, Aragorn tells a little boy that there is always hope.  Like Aragorn, I believe that there is hope for ACC beyond 2040.  This hope, unfortunately, is inter-dependent on the desire of the leadership to make substantive changes to the structures of the church.  I used ‘unfortunately’ because sharing power and authority with ‘the other’ is challenging and threatening at the same time.  Following are some of the ways, revival of ACC can happen:

First, to critically examine the governance structures which is membership and their mandate to determine if it mirrors Canadian population and culture.  This is extremely important and integral as it will bring ‘the other’ to not only share their experience but also lead the church in devising policies and mission strategies to address the struggles of the other.  So far, ACC has spoken for ‘the other’.  It is time that the ACC listen to ‘the other’.

Second, to believe that our unity is in diversity.  Since 1991 (year I emigrated to Canada), it seems to me that the church is trying to convert one another on every issue.  It is as silly as to stand or kneel for the prayers to as serious as equal marriage and everything in between.  Accepting, embracing and encouraging diverse voices and opinions will fulfill Jesus’ prayer that we may be one as Jesus is one with God.

Third, to make a place for the New Canadians in the liturgy, mission and ministry of the church. New Canadians are coming from Anglican Communion churches and provinces.  Why are they not coming to the ACC churches is an important question and discernment?  An open conversation and dialogue will engender ways for them to be members of our churches.

Fourth, to engage with and to learn from the millennials.  They are the prophets of our time as they have emerged as the stewards of God’s creation through Climate action, visionaries of just and equitable world as portrayed by their support of the developing world and are the destroyers of barriers of race, religion, creed, sexuality, gender and social status.

2040 is not too far away; there is always hope if the ACC can discover the ways to learn from ‘the other’, with a desire to change and grow.

Another form of Baptismal Ministry

Many years ago, a friend was ordained Deacon.  His ministry was to assist the priest of his parish.  My friend, before his ordination, had many and varied roles in his parish church.  He served on the vestry, was a leader and preached occasionally, shepherded ministry to New Canadians particularly for the parish and the diocese and visited and took the sacrament to assisted living homes and the hospitals.  In one of our conversations, after his ordination, I asked him if his role and ministry had changed.  His answer was ‘No’.  Then why were you ordained, was my next question.  He responded by telling me that being a deacon gave his ministry more legitimacy and access to other congregations.

Since that conversation, I have specifically followed, with sadness and angst, ordinations of incredibly gifted and involved lay persons as deacons.  All of them to whom I spoke were asked to see ordination as a reward for lay ministry, a tool of recognition and legitimacy and a way forward in their ministry. Neither one has told me what different things will do as a deacon or could not have offered as a lay person.  The diaconate has been relegated to a reward for faithful service to the church.  Some might argue, that it is not a reward but rather a commissioning of a person to extend the kingdom of God through words, ministry and actions. My sadness and angst is because of my conviction that these actions and as a result we fail to recognise the legitimacy and importance to every form and level of ministry as another aspect of the baptismal call to make a difference in the community.

Baptism unites the baptised with Christ and with the community and is a sign and seal of our common discipleship.  Furthermore, it unites the baptised to the church universal which is of every time and place and anoints the person to exercise his or her ministry as a reflection of and in response to the Holy Spirit and in gratitude for the forgiveness of sin.  If baptism and the holy spirit are the unifying agents then all the baptised regardless of their ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, social status, ordained or not belong to a wide circle and are equal and beloved in the eyes of God and the church – and everyone in the circle is called to exercise their baptismal ministry in many and varied ways.  By doing so, not only do they complement one another but they extend the kingdom of God.

Thus, ministry of lay and ordained (deacon, priest, and bishop) are different forms of baptismal ministry with the sole purpose to serve God and God’s people.  All should be embraced and neither should be elevated as a gift or reward for faithful ministry.  Historically deacons have a distinct and unique role in the church.  Diminishing it down to a reward for faithful lay ministry is neither beneficial to laity or the ordained as it creates a hierarchy in the community gathered around the word and the sacrament.    

An end or a new beginning...

An end or a new beginning. . .

It was a cold winter night and I was driving back to my home from another parade night at the armoury.  While whistling to the music and admiring the moonlight on freshly fallen snow; I realised that God had answered my prayer and a wish.  

All through high school, I secretly wished and prayed to be an air force pilot.  The biggest obstacle was my inaptitude towards mathematics, physics and chemistry.  I passed those subjects by memorising theorems, formulae, equations etc.  However, through acknowledging my limitations I decided on another path and that allowed me to first pursue a career in Accounting and business management and then enter the world of theology and priesthood.

I was well established in the priesthood as my abilities were acknowledged and my talents were utilised at various levels of the church’s governance.  My call to ministry was rooted in social justice and liberation of the masses from every form of oppression and prejudice.  In 2006, around 2130 hours, I received a call from a deputy Atlantic area chaplain of Canadian Armed Forces to encourage me to consider becoming a chaplain in the Canadian Reserve Forces.  The local Reserve unit was without a chaplain and it was important for the unit to have a Padre to provide spiritual care to the members.  This call was surprising to say the least and more than that a passivist in me was startled to even imagine wearing a uniform and being part of the armed forces of Canada.  After a week or so, I accepted the offer and started the process of enrolment in the forces.  I offered my services because I was asked to take care of the warriors and be part of their lives in every sense of the world.

We were in Afghanistan actively engaged in the war against terrorism.  Newfoundlanders have a long and proud tradition and history of serving Canada through her forces.  As the only chaplain on the Western side of the province, I was called upon to do several primary next of kin notification, escort the families to Trenton for repatriation, provide leadership in arranging and conducting of the funerals and be pastorally present and available to the members of the unit.  It was a daunting and gut-wrenching responsibilities at times and I was still a full-time parish priest.

That cold winter night, I realised that my wish and prayers were answered albeit after twenty-three years. God had finally taken me to the forces at a time when I was needed the most to care for the members and their families.  I also realised that this was my way to return to Canada the life she had afforded to me and my family.

  

In 2013, I was diagnosed with duty related operational stress injuries which included PTSD, chronic depression, anxiety and irrational fear.  Forces developed a course of action and initiated a process of recovery.  Recovery really means to have mindfulness and tools to neutralise the symptoms and thoughts.  

I will be released (medical release) on 4^th November from the forces.  Cerebrally, I know that all of us have a best before date.  However, emotively, I am conflicted to say the least.  Serving Canada through the armed forces was a way to honour Canada; working and struggling with the members was a privilege and the trust placed in me was sacred.  Members energised me and nurtured me in various ways.  And it is coming to an end.  In the midst of this profound loss of identity, I am reminded of all that I have been given and all that I have received through the forces. It will always be a part of me and for that reason, this is a beginning of a new life, horizon and opportunity to continue to serve Canada.

Reality and Illusion: An emigrant rethinks privilege

In 1998, I came across the term ‘white privilege’ for the first time in my life.  I was disturbed and angered by the term and the person who used it because I believed it to be the fabrication of reality.  Gathering was multi-ethnic.  Members were invited to be there because of their education, expertise and passion for social justice through the proclamation and actions of the church.  I was insulted by the insinuation that I was lesser than the Caucasian members because we were there to work towards equality, social justice and new relationship with one another and thus, were equals. 

In 2104, I participated in an exercise to exhibit and understand ‘white privilege’.  All of us in the group were asked to stand and continue to move to the right if we qualified for a benchmark of privilege which was to answer affirmatively to the questions.  At the end of the exercise, I was standing farthest on the right side along with an Indigenous friend.  My friend and I were the privileged persons in the group because of our life experiences, education and several other factors.  The facilitator told both of us that we were still not equal because of our ethnicity.  And I thought, here he goes again and was hurt as well as insulted because of his comments.  Since then to latter part of 2018, I denounced this exercise and whole business of ‘white privilege’ as an anathema to our society because of my naivety and great trust in the institutional church.

In 2018, I wrote a letter to the leader of the church pleading with him to address or acknowledge angst and struggles of church members of visible minorities as it relates to but not exclusive to the full inclusion of LGBTQ members of the church.  By no means, it was intended to either halt the discussion or start all over again.  It was simply a letter asking to be pastoral to and aware of the struggles of new Canadians.  To my surprise and profound disappointment, I have not even received an acknowledgement of my letter from said leader’s office.

The silence from the leader is deafening to say the least.  Leader’s confidantes and staff member, in response to my inquiry about no response have made excuses such as that maybe he has not seen the letter and they will take it up with him.  And I am still waiting. . .

Full Inclusion of LGBTQ members of the church has been an important part of my ministry.  Since 1995, everyone who should know is aware of my position.  The personal issue and struggle for me in the midst of silence is that for the first time, I have recognized and experienced ‘white privilege’ and how it will never allow a person of colour and an Indigenous person to be equal in any conversation of the church and the society regardless of our profession, education, passion and love for this church.

Good News is that God is stirring people of faith in various ways. Those who were subjugated and marginalised have started to ask difficult yet life giving questions to the dominant group and culture within the church.  One can ignore the plea now, but please know that the voices of the masses will not be silenced and ignored forever in the life and witness of this church.