An end or a new
beginning. . .
It was a cold winter night and I
was driving back to my home from another parade night at the armoury. While whistling to the music and admiring the
moonlight on freshly fallen snow; I realised that God had answered my prayer
and a wish.
All through high school, I secretly
wished and prayed to be an air force pilot.
The biggest obstacle was my inaptitude towards mathematics, physics and
chemistry. I passed those subjects by
memorising theorems, formulae, equations etc.
However, through acknowledging my limitations I decided on another path
and that allowed me to first pursue a career in Accounting and business
management and then enter the world of theology and priesthood.
I was well established in the priesthood
as my abilities were acknowledged and my talents were utilised at various
levels of the church’s governance. My
call to ministry was rooted in social justice and liberation of the masses from
every form of oppression and prejudice.
In 2006, around 2130 hours, I received a call from a deputy Atlantic area
chaplain of Canadian Armed Forces to encourage me to consider becoming a
chaplain in the Canadian Reserve Forces.
The local Reserve unit was without a chaplain and it was important for
the unit to have a Padre to provide spiritual care to the members. This call was surprising to say the least and
more than that a passivist in me was startled to even imagine wearing a uniform
and being part of the armed forces of Canada.
After a week or so, I accepted the offer and started the process of
enrolment in the forces. I offered my
services because I was asked to take care of the warriors and be part of their
lives in every sense of the world.
We were in Afghanistan actively
engaged in the war against terrorism.
Newfoundlanders have a long and proud tradition and history of serving
Canada through her forces. As the only
chaplain on the Western side of the province, I was called upon to do several
primary next of kin notification, escort the families to Trenton for
repatriation, provide leadership in arranging and conducting of the funerals and
be pastorally present and available to the members of the unit. It was a daunting and gut-wrenching
responsibilities at times and I was still a full-time parish priest.
That cold winter night, I realised
that my wish and prayers were answered albeit after twenty-three years. God had
finally taken me to the forces at a time when I was needed the most to care for
the members and their families. I also realised
that this was my way to return to Canada the life she had afforded to me and my
family.
In 2013, I was diagnosed with duty
related operational stress injuries which included PTSD, chronic depression,
anxiety and irrational fear. Forces
developed a course of action and initiated a process of recovery. Recovery really means to have mindfulness and
tools to neutralise the symptoms and thoughts.
I will be released (medical
release) on 4th November from the forces. Cerebrally, I know that all of us have a best
before date. However, emotively, I am conflicted
to say the least. Serving Canada through
the armed forces was a way to honour Canada; working and struggling with the
members was a privilege and the trust placed in me was sacred. Members energised me and nurtured me in various
ways. And it is coming to an end. In the midst of this profound loss of
identity, I am reminded of all that I have been given and all that I have received
through the forces. It will always be a part of me and for that reason, this is
a beginning of a new life, horizon and opportunity to continue to serve Canada.
